Some of us find it hard to handle our children’s tears. If the tears are a response to pain or fear or sickness, go with your heart and give the comfort they need. But are the tears tears of frustration? There are always many gaps between what a child wants and what they are able or allowed to get. As parents, sometimes we are the cause of that frustration as we place boundaries for their own good.
- The brain-boosting habit for your child you already know how to do
- The illustration that helps when your kid’s lost the plot
- How to help an anxious child
So a weep may be a way a child is processing their grief, their anger, and their frustration. It resets them emotionally and is a self-comforting tool. Maybe we don’t need to do much more than just be empathetic. Get down to their level, listen to their frustration with your heart and let them know that you care.
You might not be to do anything to relieve their frustration but you do care. Also you can empathise without actually agreeing with their opinion on what’s causing the frustration. “I can see you’re upset. This is tough, eh? I know you want an ice block – but not today, honey.”
There are two responses to their tears which can be unhelpful –
1. Letting our child believe that tears will always get them what they want
All they have to do is cry and we’ll quickly respond with snacks or toys or attention – or even reverse a decision that they didn’t like. It’s can train our children to be whiney and grizzley.
Hey, when has anger worked for anything?
Book a session with a Family Coach
Sometimes family life is way more challenging than we had ever imagined. We would like it to be a lot more enjoyable, if only we knew how. Family coaching is designed to meet you where you are at, whatever stage you are at on your parenting and relationship journey. We want to be on the journey with you. To find out more and to book a session, click here.