Valentine’s Day: Choosing connection over consumerism

Yikes, it’s Valentine’s Day. How did that sneak up so fast? As a teenager, I used to love Valentine’s Day. A day when (if you were lucky) your secret crush might come through with a bunch of carnations from the service station, or a kitsch teddy bear holding a heart. In my early twenties, the best kind of Valentine’s Day treats were anonymously delivered to my workplace by a sweaty courier for all of my colleagues to swoon over.

These days though, Valentine’s Day rarely features on our calendar. Instead, we shrug off the hype as needless consumerism. We plough on with our very important parental responsibilities, leaving the swooning to the young’uns.

Needless consumerism aside, are we missing a valuable opportunity to communicate our affection to our significant other? If you’re in a relationship where there’s the tiniest chance that you might be taking each other for granted, Valentine’s Day might be a great excuse to switch up your game.

Here are a few ideas to try this Valentine’s Day

Post them a card – Posting a card is so old school, but how cool is it to get a card delivered to your door? Don’t worry if you’ve missed the post, forget the stamp and just slip a card into her handbag or pop it on the front seat of the car. In your own words, remind your person of what you appreciate about them.

Take them on a date – Even if you’ve been together for ages, don’t let it stop you from continuing to get to know each other. It’s a stunning time of year, so no need to splash out on a fancy restaurant. Head to the supermarket, grab your favourite treats, and send your partner a text with a time and place to meet you for a surprise picnic.

You could also go for a walk somewhere beautiful or to a new café to get a coffee. You could head to a movie or explore somewhere new. It doesn’t matter what you do, just grab some time together and let them know they’re important to you.

Use technology – If you’re the techie type, you could grab a pic of you both and overlay it with words. You could make a shared playlist, make a slideshow of fave together times, or just text something thoughtful.

Just in case you find yourselves getting stuck with the same old conversation about chores and bills this Valentine’s Day, here are a few conversation starters to keep things from getting dull –

  1. What’s your favourite memory as a kid?
  2. What’s the best memory we have shared together?
  3. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing that you haven’t yet?
  4. If there was one thing we could do to boost our relationship, what would it be?

Most of all, have fun.


About Author

Jo Batts

For Jo, relationships are at the heart of whānau. Jo is our Family, Relationships and Marriage coach at Parenting Place working with family, sibling and relational dynamics. She’s a counsellor, a strengths coach, a parent, a partner, and the leader of our relationships and marriage programme. Jo's down-to-earth approach helps people to develop the practical tools to build healthy relationships for everyday life.

Comments are closed.