1. Give yourself the stress test
It’s totally normal and understandable that we are kind of stressed right now, but the way that we manage our stress is pivotal. Everyone has the capacity to tolerate different degrees of stress, but if we take our stress out on our partner and make it their fault, I am pretty sure they won’t respond that warmly (what a surprise!). Ultimately, we’re responsible for how we manage our own stress. Imagine your stress on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 not at all stressed and 10 you are about to blow your fuse). Try and notice where you are on the stress scale, if you are getting higher and higher try and catch yourself before you blow.
2. If you need space – just ask for it
We all need some time-out to reset in this season. Instead of just disappearing to the garage for some alone time, let your partner know what you need and where you’re heading. Just a few simple words gives them a ‘heads up’ that you are needing some space and will save them from taking it personally (eg “Hey babe, just give me half an hour to clear my head”). We all have a different capacity for being around others – when you feel your limit approaching, just gently let your partner know so they can help you take a break.
3. Hug it out
Hugs are just the business, especially if your love language is physical touch! With all this uncertainty in the air, our poor brains have soaked up so much change and new information lately that we’re all pretty darn exhausted. There is nothing as comforting as a good hug to reset our nervous system. So if the word count is waning and the body is tired, it’s time to hug it out – you’ll be surprised how powerfully it lifts your spirit.
4. "Would you like a cup of tea?”
In my humble opinion, a cup of tea is the international language of love. Okay, so you might not be a tea drinker so make it coffee, tonic or whatever is your jam. It’s the smallest of acts but the words “Would you like a cup of tea?” represent the idea that our partner is thinking of us, cares for us and has our back. If your love language is quality time, sitting down together for a cup of tea is like date night in the middle of the day and can work wonders to help us feel close and connected.
5. "Do you need some help?”
If your partner’s love language is Acts of Service, then they will love this. Just bust out this phrase when you have a spare half hour and I can guarantee you that the good vibes will be flowing between you. Most of us love to be on the receiving end of “How can I help?” question, especially those of us with Acts of Service as our love language. A lot of the time your partner does not need the help, but the fact that you asked creates a warm glow on the inside and strengthens the relationship.
6. Send a text
You’ve been working separately all day and the pressure is getting to you… and then a text rolls in from your beloved at the other end of the house. Awwwww!! If your partner’s love language is words of affirmation, your words will lift their spirits and remind them that even though the circumstances are less than ideal, they are still the centre of your world. Words of affection and affirmation are like putting fuel in the tank for someone with this love language.