Mary Grant was a true force of nature; full of love, grace and an unshakeable determination to make a difference.
As an organisation founded by Mary and her husband Ian, Parenting Place will forever be encouraged by Mary’s passionate belief in the vital role parents play as the fabric of a flourishing society. Her devotion, energy and care have long inspired us and will continue to do so as we carry the work Mary so deeply treasured into the future.
Mary and Ian wove so much wisdom into the foundations of this organisation. As we honour Mary Grant, we reflect on her incredible life with deep gratitude.
Ian and Mary’s early work was in youth ministry, leading Youth For Christ (YFC) for 25 years, organising large annual summer youth camps and events such as Capital Teen Convention (CTC) band competitions. By 1992, this season was coming to a natural end. The couple’s own children were no longer teenagers; in fact, many of the young people who had looked to Ian and Mary for guidance through their teenage years were now seeking help as young parents. And so, an idea took shape: gather a large crowd and through story and humour, compellingly communicate a vision of confident, hope-filled parenting.
Parenting with Confidence, as we were known at the beginning, was born in 1993. Our vision today – that every parent feels confident, and every child feels deeply loved – is inspired by Mary and Ian’s passion to make the world a better place for children by supporting and equipping parents.
Originally operating out of an office above their garage, Ian and Mary used the experience they had gleaned from decades of youth work and raising their own family. The couple also drew on their backgrounds in teaching, audio engineering, radio production and presenting, as well as television work fronting The Herd (Ian).
In response to the needs and requests of the community, their first Parenting with Confidence offering was to put on seminars. The first Hot Tips for Parents event was held at Selwyn College and with over 300 in attendance, a second event was soon booked.
“Our heart was always to encourage parents, give them confidence… so they wouldn't go home feeling put down or dismissed.” – Mary Grant, reflecting in 2024
Ian and Mary quickly drew a team around them in the early season of the organisation and broadened the scope of their operations. Participant handbooks and Hot Tips newsletters were soon in print, followed by courses, coaching, a magazine, the Attitude programme, a building and hub for families, several published books, a website, a bookshop and more... The Red Plate, still sold today, was a product close to Mary’s heart as it encapsulated values she felt were so important for family dynamics – supporting children to celebrate their siblings, accommodate loss and win graciously.
Mary is remembered for her extraordinary capacity for hard work. She carried a profound care for families, and this passion gave her enormous energy. She always had a new idea percolating. And Mary was determined, renown for her attention to detail and exacting standards. She brought out the best in people, never settling for mediocre. “Make sure you bring your brains to work,” she was known to say.
Mary was charming – she greeted everyone with genuine care, a natural gatherer of people. To be around Mary was to be inspired and challenged, with countless volunteers captivated by her vision and passion and joining her in whatever project needed resourcing. It was always important to Mary that many hands do the lifting.
Working with Mary was also always fun. She had a delightful sense of humour and joy about her, shaped by her deep gratitude for people and life. Ian and Mary’s belief that people received information and tools best when they were laughing and having fun has always been a key part of Parenting Place culture and tone.
Mary was smart and well-read, always “gleaning and learning”, weaving new gems into our work. She kept herself informed, ensuring our materials featured the latest and most accurate information.
Everything Mary did was inspired by her deep Christian faith. She had a compelling desire to see parents thrive in connected, loving family relationships, and in doing so, ultimately experience the love of God.
A ‘social entrepreneur’ who will be remembered for projects and initiatives that touched countless lives across Aotearoa, Mary was first and foremost a wife and mother. Despite the workload she so diligently carried, Mary’s care for her own family was always paramount, ensuring they always felt loved and nurtured.
Perhaps of all the gems Mary shared with parents, this gentle challenge resonates most: Do your eyes light up when your child walks in the room?
Do we delight in our children? Do they know that we do? Mary’s encouragement to stop and intentionally connect with our kids is perhaps one of the most potent pieces of parenting advice we can live by in the busyness of life today.
A child seeing and interpreting a look of delight instantly understands that they are safe. A child feeling a parent’s delight can then focus their attention on discovering what they are capable of. A look of delight declares unconditional love. It speaks of each person’s innate worth. Mary believed that every child needs to be seen and celebrated. This belief inspires us as an organisation supporting parents, but also as parents and whānau members ourselves. What a privilege and joy it is to call out the gold in the next generation.
“Merely loving our kids, and making them the centre of our universe, does not give them a picture of what a satisfying life looks like. They need to see us building a meaningful life around them. They need to see us navigating the joys and pains of life and living optimistically and gratefully.”
Mary Grant, Parenting magazine archives.
