How to make a hard thing easier: The power of rehearsals

When our kids are faced with something new — a new school, a new routine, even a new playground — it can feel big and scary. And honestly, as parents, sometimes it feels big and scary for us too. One simple, surprisingly powerful tool can make those tricky moments gentler for everyone: rehearsals.

Rehearsals are exactly what they sound like — practising something before it happens. When we help our kids walk through a new experience in a low‑stress moment, we reduce uncertainty, build confidence and quietly strengthen the skills they’ll need when the real thing rolls around.

When our daughter was about to start school, I knew the playground would feel overwhelming. Those tall climbing structures looked enormous to her. So we visited the school a few times on the weekend to let her explore.

At one point she climbed cautiously up a ladder and froze.

“What will you do if you feel stuck up here when Mummy and Daddy aren’t with you?” we asked.

Her eyes widened.

“I don’t knoooooowwwww!”

We tried coaching her through turning around and climbing down by herself, but she was too frightened. She panicked. School suddenly felt scary. She wanted Daddy to lift her off, so he did.

Afterwards, we made a little agreement: for now she’d stick to the parts of the playground she felt confident on, and we’d keep practising the big structures together on weekends. Bit by bit, with support, she learned how to navigate them.

We also practised walking to her classroom, finding the toilets, and where we’d meet her at 3pm. Reducing surprises lowers anxiety. When kids know the plan, they feel more able and in control.

This kind of rehearsal helps kids at any age — from school starters to teens learning to catch the bus.

“What will you do if the bus goes past your stop?”

“What’s your plan if your Hop card doesn’t scan?”

Hypothetical “What would you do if…?” questions help kids practise decision‑making in safe ways.

Sometimes it’s not new things that trip our kids up — it’s the same old tricky moment happening again and again.

• Maybe your child struggles with goodbyes at kindy.

• Maybe turning off the iPad ends in meltdowns.

• Maybe bedtime has become a nightly negotiation.

• Or maybe your small human insists that 5:00am is a perfectly reasonable wake‑up time.

These are great opportunities for a rehearsal.

Rehearsals can be especially helpful when a behaviour pattern has become fraught.

Take bedtime.

“Bedtimes have been a bit tricky lately. Things are getting too drawn out. From now on, once you’re in bed, we’ll have two stories, one song and a big squeezy cuddle. Then I’ll say goodnight and leave the room — and no matter how many times you beg, I won’t read more stories. Want to practise?”

Then you rehearse the whole thing — in the middle of the afternoon — when emotions are low and everyone can stay playful.

And if your child performs perfectly during rehearsal, you can even make it fun by prompting:

“I think you should pretend to cry loudly now!”
or
“I reckon you should beg me for more stories!”

Kids love the silliness. Meanwhile, they’re quietly practising accepting a boundary — and we’re practising holding it.

Swap roles if you want. Let them be the firm parent. Let them giggle at your over‑the‑top pleading.

Rehearsals help children:

• Try out independence safely
• Practise small decisions (“Which way should we walk?” “What’s your plan if…?”)
• Strengthen self‑efficacy - the belief that “I can handle this”
• Grow confidence through coaching, praise, encouragement and celebration
• Learn emotional skills through play, when their brains are most receptive
• Feel seen, supported and capable, because you’re right there practising with them

And there’s a bonus: rehearsals help us parents too. When we walk through something ahead of time, we feel calmer and more confident about our child’s ability to manage. We’re more able to hold boundaries with warmth and confidence because we’ve essentially practised our part as well.