Grief is a process of letting go. Letting go of what was, or what could have been, and accepting what is. After six years of blood tests, injections and procedures related to fertility treatment, my wife and I arrived at the end of the road. We had to let go of the dream of having our own biological children and accept another future. At the time, the only emotion was immense sadness, but looking back this loss was the beginning of a new adventure we could never have imagined.
Several years before this, as we were journeying through infertility, my mind had already started to drift to other possibilities for our future, including adoption. But as ready as I was to explore other options, Phoebe, my wife, was not. I came to understand that the immense grief she was experiencing was not a problem for me to solve, but a journey we needed to walk together. It can be easy to romanticise what this was like in hindsight, but in reality, it was really hard to sit with someone grieving and just listen, rather than jumping to suggest options, possibilities or silver linings.