Teaching our kids to see through the spin

I park my car outside the dairy after school, three kids in the back. Stuck to the shop window are life-sized pictures of impossibly beautiful people - strolling and laughing, clutching bottles of Coca-Cola. I keep meaning to ask my children, “What do you think the advertisers want us to feel when we look at this?” But I never get around to it, because we have one focus: Get that ice cream to make us happy.

Still the question lingers. I’ve always been uneasy about the impact of advertising on my children, especially when it comes to unrealistic beauty standards and body image expectations. One of the things I appreciate most about Netflix is the lack of ads. It’s a small reprieve from the barrage of persuasive messaging they get everywhere else. But even without TV ads, the outside world is saturated. Driving through downtown can feel like navigating a maze of manipulative messages.

• THIS BURGER WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

• ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE VAPING, JUST LOOK AT OUR COOL GRAFFITI SIGNAGE

• DRINK THIS AND YOU'LL FIT IN!

Then there's the online world: endless influencer reels, sponsored content and subtle (or not-so-subtle) brand placements. Honestly, I dread to think how much our children and young people absorb without even realising.

So how do we help our children remain grounded amidst all this? How do we strengthen our influence as parents, and help our young people develop a healthy sense of scepticism?

We want to raise children who are CRITICAL - in the best sense of the word. Critical thinking means questioning what we see and hear. It’s about asking, “Is this true? Who benefits from this message? What’s being left out?”

Without these skills, kids are more vulnerable to manipulation - whether it’s an online predator posing in a Roblox chatroom, an influencer promoting overpriced skin serum or a multinational corporation pushing a harmful product. Without critical thinking, they might accept every message at face value.

Yes, kids often grow more sceptical as they age. But we don’t need to leave it to chance. As parents, we play a key role in nurturing that skill. Teaching critical thinking is a protective measure. It’s like giving them mental armour.

I recently listened to a podcast that pointed out something important: we shouldn’t assume our kids aren’t noticing harmful messages just because they aren’t talking about them. They are noticing. The real question is: how can we help them process and critique what they see?

We need to talk about it. Unpack the ads, the stereotypes, the influencers, the narratives. Ask questions and prompt conversations. The more we do that, the more likely our children will form the habit of thinking before accepting. That’s how you grow healthy scepticism.

Ask questions like:

• “Huh, that ad is everywhere lately. What do you reckon they’re trying to get us to feel when we see it?”

• “What do you notice about how the bad guy looks? Why do you think they’re made to look that way?"

• “Do you reckon that’s actually true, or are they exaggerating to make it sound cooler?”

• “If someone believed that video without thinking it through, what might be the downside?”

• “Why do you think they used that music or those colours? What kind of vibe are they going for?”

• “Who will benefit if people believe this message? Who might be left out or harmed?”

These questions help young people develop the muscle of critical analysis. They also help them notice patterns, like harmful stereotypes and manipulative narratives, that they might otherwise absorb unnoticed.

Teaching critical thinking doesn’t have to be formal or heavy-handed. It’s best done in small, everyday moments:

• Talk about how Nana got scammed online, and what made the scam convincing.

• Show them a viral image, like a fake AI-generated animal or a deepfake photo, and explain why we can't always trust what we see with our own eyes.

• Share or discuss political news stories that pop up on social media and ask your teen if they are receiving the same types of stories in their feed. This could lead into a really good discussion about algorithms and why social media is not a reliable news source.

• Ask them their thoughts on Chat GPT and whether AI answers to questions are always accurate. How can they research things?

We’re not just teaching them to spot fake news, we’re helping them to navigate the tricky world they are living in. And to understand that every message comes with an agenda. And that they have the power to ask questions and form their own conclusions.

There’s also nuance to navigate. So much of what our kids see online is black and white: good/bad, pretty/ugly, right/wrong. But life’s not that simple. Helping our kids see shades of grey - recognising that people and ideas can be both/and, not just either/or - is a powerful part of critical thinking.

These conversation starters can help in that regard:

• “What else could be true?”

• “Is there another side to this?”

• “Have you ever changed your mind about something? What helped you?”

And while we don’t have space to get into the nitty gritty of cognitive biases here, they are worth a quick mention. Our brains love shortcuts – which is why we tend to look for information that confirms what we already think (confirmation bias) or follow the crowd (groupthink).

Humans also have emotional reactions to things. We might see or hear something and immediately be fearful, outraged or full of admiration – all perfectly natural feelings, but they can cloud our judgement. If our thinking is black and white – “That person is pure evil” or “That new government policy idea is 100% positive!” then we are not really thinking with nuance. These are pretty deep concepts, but chatting about them with our young people can help them understand why critical thinking is so difficult sometimes.

Here’s a story that shows just how powerful it can be to promote critical thinking to young people.

During the 1980s, the U.S. government introduced the widely known ‘Just Say No’ campaign aimed at reducing drug use among teenagers. The campaign heavily promoted the dangers of drug use through widespread messaging. However, its effectiveness was questionable. Substance use didn’t decline significantly, and in some cases, research indicates it may have even increased after the ‘Just say No’ campaign! Ah stink.

In contrast, Florida launched the ‘Truth’ campaign in the late 1990s, taking a different approach. Instead of focusing on health risks or using fear-based messaging, or disapproving of the young people’s morals, it targeted the manipulative tactics of tobacco companies. The campaign told teens, in essence: “Big Tobacco thinks you're gullible and stupid! Let’s call out their lies! Let’s take control of our choices. They are not going to tell us what to do.” This strategy resonated with young people by appealing to their sense of independence and resistance to being misled. As a result, teen smoking rates plummeted - from 28% to under 6% - making the campaign one of the most effective public health efforts in history. (Truth Initiative)

Why did it work? Because it didn’t tell kids what to think. It taught them to think for themselves.

Modelling and teaching critical thinking requires balance. On one hand, we don’t want our children to be blindly accepting every social media claim or marketing hype. But on the other hand, we absolutely don’t want them to be distrustful of everyone and everything and view the world as a dangerous place! We can’t shield our children from every message they’ll encounter, but through asking questions, we can prepare them to meet those messages with clear eyes and strong minds.

Critical thinking helps kids:

• resist pressure to conform.

• recognise when they’re being manipulated.

• question stereotypes and assumptions.

• make thoughtful, independent decisions.

It’s one of the most valuable tools we can give them in a media-saturated world. And while media literacy is a key part of empowering our kids, critical thinking also shows up in school debates and conversations, playground politics or deciding if they believe a friend’s gossip. It’s certainly helpful both online and in real life.

These are big conversations, I know. And it can all feel a bit daunting. As a fellow parent, I find these reminders helpful:

• Be curious, not critical.

• Wonder aloud, and model your own critical thinking pathways. “I wonder why…”

• Avoid giving the right answer right away.

• Praise the process. “That’s a clever question!”

Critical thinking skills will help your young person to be a thoughtful citizen who understands that just because Trump said the immigrants eat their cats, it isn’t necessarily so; When the influencer is dancing at a festival with a vape in her hand, she is getting paid big bucks to do that by tobacco companies; and yes, ice cream actually does make you happy.