Tech the halls? Things to consider before gifting devices

Thinking about buying your child their first phone this Christmas? Exciting! And maybe a little daunting? A first phone isn’t just a shiny gift under the tree; it’s a step toward independence and responsibility. With the right intention and preparation it can be a milestone your child feels proud of and one which works well for the whole whānau.

Here are some things to consider before wrapping up that device.

Wouldn’t it be great if there was a magic number for phone readiness? 11? 13? 15!?The truth is that children develop emotionally, physically and socially in their own time, so the best guide is their maturity, not their age.

A child is more likely to be ‘phone-ready’ if they are:

• Demonstrating responsibility in daily life, like taking good care of their own belongings, remembering their schedule or getting themselves to and from school on time.
• Confidently communicating with their parent or caregiver when they’re feeling worried, confused or struggling with friends or peers.
• Handling various social situations, online and IRL (in real life), with maturity. Remember, their brains are still learning to weigh risks and handle peer pressure.

If your child still needs a little more mastery of impulse control or emotional regulation, maybe a basic phone with no internet access (only texts and calling) is a smarter idea this Christmas. A phone opens the door to connection, but it also leaves kids more vulnerable to online risks.

A generous Christmas gesture doesn’t have to mean full access to the online world. Start with a phone that matches your child’s readiness - and the family’s needs.

This could mean:

• A phone for purely practical reasons. Are they going between households or using public transport to get to school? In these instances, a ‘basic phone’ might do the trick. Having access to texts and calls only can help kids practise digital responsibility without the overwhelm of social media or the internet at their fingertips.
• A smartwatch with text/call features. Ok, so this might not be exactly what they had in mind when they wrote ‘new phone’ on their Christmas list, but this is a great option for kids who are gaining a little more independence. And there are loads of cool wearable-tech options available.
• A brand-new smartphone - with appropriate boundaries in place. Lucky kid! If this is where you land, consider a mobile plan like Spark Kids Plan where you stay in control of data and access and can extend features in a time frame that suits you and your child.

Once the Christmas leftovers are tucked away in the fridge, set aside some time to ensure the phone is set up properly for its happy new owner. This applies to both new and hand-me-down devices.

Consider:

• App store restrictions – what can be downloaded with or without your consent
• Screen-time limits
• Family Link (Android) or Apple Family Sharing
• Filtering tools like Safe Surfer
• Disabling in-app purchases
• Turning off location features you’re not comfortable with.

Phone in hand? A written phone agreement can help to establish shared expectations. Ask your child what they think is fair, get them involved in setting screen-free zones and establish rules that work for your whole household.

Are they aware of:

• Online risks, including online predators and scams?
• The risks of oversharing and the long-term consequences of their digital footprint?
• Healthy digital habits. Do they know how to manage their screen time so they don’t miss out on the other things they need for wellbeing?

You don’t need to be a tech expert, but taking the time to work through some of the essentials of online safety with your child will help prevent issues before they arise.

Getting a first phone is a big step towards independence – but some degree of parental monitoring is still needed. In fact, you might find that having a phone requires more parenting than ever before.

The best advice is to get alongside your kids and stay there! Model the behaviours and habits around devices that you’d like them to adopt, keep talking, and be consistent with upholding limits and expectations.

Gifting a phone is just the beginning of the story! With preparation and ongoing conversation, this milestone can be a chance to build trust, capability and connection over time. Most kids want to please their parents or caregivers – watch them rise to this new challenge.