This WILL be fun!

If you’ve ever enthusiastically declared, “This will be fun!”, only to have your kids respond with synchronised groans – congratulations! You have entered the realm of ‘Forced Family Fun’. It’s that special time when parents envision laughter, frolicking and Instagram-worthy memories, while the kids envision… well, escape routes!

Whether it’s a proposed games night and there is squabbling before the cards are even dealt, a bushwalk that feels like a hostage situation, or you're trying to get some backyard cricket underway but the wicket-keeper's scowl could power a small village! These moments are proof that worthwhile family activities are not always effortless.

Kids can be so resistant! And for us parents – this can be bewildering and frustrating! Of course we care about what our kids want and how they feel. We certainly don’t enjoy bullying them into a bushwalk or steamrolling their wishes just to make it happen.

In my role as a Parent Coach, I often hear parents’ angst. You have a terrific plan to get the kids out mountain biking, but they just want to stay at home watching Netflix. You are all pumped to have an afternoon at the beach, but you are met with eye-rolling and complaints. It can feel like the effort of getting out the door puts everyone in a foul mood. This isn’t what we were hoping for!

When things don’t go as planned, it’s easy to start casting blame. We might think, “What’s wrong with my kids? Why don’t they want to join in on wholesome, outdoorsy activities? Why don’t they want to do things together as a family?”

Or maybe, “Something must be wrong with our family - we’re just not like those happy families on Instagram.”

And then comes the harshest thought of all: “Maybe it’s me. Did I raise them wrong? Are we failing as parents because our kids aren’t thrilled about spending time with us?”

Simply trying to have some quality time as a family can end up feeling profoundly disappointing and I hear parents say – what is the point?

Fear not, Lovely Parent - all is not lost!

Let’s normalise something. Kids can be resistant. Full stop.

The truth is they are immature beings. They are still developing. They often don’t fully understand what is in their best interests, and that's okay.

As adults, we have more perspective and can even see into the future somewhat. We know that the moment we get to the beach, with its refreshing sea breeze and sparkling waves, our children will be like puppy dogs. They will get a game going, they will play cooperatively for hours building a sandcastle to withstand the incoming tide. We know there’s a high chance they’ll have a fantastic time with each other (and will, ironically, drag their heels when we say it’s home time.)

There is also a strong possibility that our children will enjoy the bushwalk. Especially if they find good sticks, if we’re not walking too fast for their little legs, and if we’re allowing the ‘Ambush’ game where they run a short distance ahead and hide, and we pretend to be shocked out of our minds when they leap at us from behind a tree.

Kids can have the funniest little ‘roadblocks’. And they can be quite short-sighted. Sometimes their resistance is fuelled by something as simple as, “Ugh, Dad’s going to make me put sunscreen on if we go to the beach, and I just can’t be bothered.”

But let’s be honest – we adults aren’t immune to this either. We experience the same resistance all the time. Deep down, we know that getting out for a walk is good for us and that we’ll feel invigorated, refreshed and energised afterward. Yet the internal dialogue kicks in: “I just don’t feel like it right now. I’d rather stay in bed a little longer… or scroll on my phone whilst lying on the couch.”

Even as mature adults our choices are not always good ones. Overcoming that initial inertia is hard for everyone, big or small.

Parents – hold onto your confidence! It’s okay to take the lead, in fact – leadership is a key part of the parental job description.

It’s helpful to keep in mind that our children aren’t mature enough to be making the decisions and calling the shots yet. An outing isn’t doomed if your idea is met with some resistance. Parents need to be resilient in the face of resistance. And keep the forward momentum, despite the discouraging lack of joy our children are demonstrating right at this moment!

Our children are not in the wrong for being less than enthusiastic. We are not in the wrong for proceeding with the plan anyway.

1. Involve kids in the planning. Like all humans, many children respond better when they have had a say in what the plan is. We all like a bit of autonomy. Perhaps if you want to go wharf jumping at high tide, you can offer a choice of two different acceptable wharfs that are in driving distance to your house. Or you can ask who they would like to invite to come along.

2. Give a heads up. Complete spontaneity can backfire as many kids really like to know about a plan the day before. Kids can have their own thoughts about how they are going to spend the day. If we suddenly announce our plan, which interrupts theirs, we can certainly expect a protest. It makes sense that our children often need a bit of time to warm up to an idea.

3. Aim for short, successful outings that leave kids eager for more. It’s better to wrap up while everyone is still having fun than to push on until exhaustion sets in. Think of it as playing the long game – building positive associations with family activities. Sometimes that means leaving a little earlier, while the mood is high, so everyone walks away with a good taste in their mouths and genuine excitement for the next adventure.

4. Bring Friends! This tip is pure gold. Kids who seem nauseated at the mere mention of a bushwalk or a multi-day hike can suddenly transform into mountain goats when another family tags along. It’s amazing how the presence of friends turns uphill trudging into a full-blown adventure.

5. Bring food! We’re not talking about bribery here, just smart strategy. Food creates joy, and we can absolutely harness that. If you want to get the kids excited about a sunrise picnic, whip up that favourite bacon and egg pie you all love. Planning a surfing day? Make it a family tradition to stop at the (eye-wateringly expensive!) real fruit ice-cream stall on the way home. Heading out for a hike? Recruit the kids to help make their own personalised scroggin bags with ingredients they love. When food becomes part of the adventure, it turns a simple outing into something they’ll look forward to.

So, the next time your grand plan for family fun is met with groans, eye rolls and dramatic sighs, take a deep breath and remember – resistance is normal. It doesn’t mean your kids don’t love you or that your family is broken – it just means they’re human (and maybe a little sunscreen-averse). Keep leading with confidence, your plan is still good! Offer some choices, or involve your kids in the planning, and never underestimate the power of snacks and friends.

Because here’s the truth: even the most ‘forced’ family fun often becomes the stories everyone laughs about later – the ones that turn into inside jokes and cherished memories. And that, Lovely Parent, is worth every groan.