One more tip – it’s lovely to talk to your child but don’t do it when they’ve stopped hearing you. During an angry conflict, much of a child’s mental activity is taking place in the basement of the brain – the brain stem and amygdala. That part of the brain is fantastic for frantic battles – quick and reflexive – but it is very unsuitable for cool, reasonable and discussion. If your child is worked up and sparks are flying off him, they can’t hear your logical, clear advice.
Save your breath and energy – your reasonable, wise words are being addressed to a part of his brain that isn’t even switched on at the moment. Calm them down, let the emotions settle, and wait for the lights to come on in their cortex and frontal lobes. By the way, if you get steamed up too, your brain doesn’t work as well either. Cool down and try again when normal brain services are restored.