Parenting certainly isn't for the faint-hearted. Of course it's absolutely worth all our efforts, but let's be honest - raising kids can be stressful!
According to nib's latest State of the Nation Parenting Survey, managing the family and household is a common stressor for parents, with mounting financial pressures contributing to this burden. A whopping 62% of New Zealand parents saying that the rising cost of living is significantly affecting their parenting.
When you’re doing it tough, it can help to know that you’re not alone. Most people are feeling the pinch and juggling multiple life stressors.
It can also help to be reminded by the experts that you and your kids are resilient, and that you will be okay. Cast your mind back over the past few years and you will likely be amazed at what you have been through and how you got through it together. The first half of this decade has certainly been tough, yet here we all are!
Prioritising self-care, looking after your own mental health and making the most of support is all essential to maintaining our reserves and ensuring we can best care for our family.
Nathan Wallis, nib’s resident parenting expert, says the difference year-on-year from the 2021 survey is marked. “The impacts of a post-Covid world, walking a tightrope balancing work and home life, and the rising cost of living, are colliding to create the perfect storm for parents,” Nathan says. “In these circumstances, a focus on well-being and finding ways to access support becomes really important.”
Nathan says, “In times of high stress, it can help to pull things right back and focus on the simple things, things that provide us with a low-key dopamine hit and help keep us centred and ordered.”
Nathan suggests four ways to give yourself and your whānau a simple but strategic boost:
Use ritual and routines to mark your day into predictable sections and create order when things feel a bit chaotic. This can be as simple as eating breakfast, lunch and tea together at set times at the table. Predictability in a child’s day really helps to keep their brain calm and happier.
It could be that when you're feeling overwhelmed and the kids are adding to the noise, you take a short walk outside to the letterbox for fresh air. Take a few deep breaths and enjoy the feel-good hormones to give you a bit of a lift for your return indoors.
Dance with the stereo up loud and show the kids your smooth dance moves. You get the feel-good factor just from moving – and your kids’ brains will be flooded with feel-good hormones as they roll on the floor laughing at just how totally “not smooth” your dance moves are!
Giving children periods of child-led play where the adult/caregiver has to follow the cues and instructions of the child helps to alleviate stress in both young and old. The key is letting the child lead and be in charge, which can be hard! In addition to creating some hilarious memories, playing together in this way strengthens the relationship bond and it is these connections and relationships with whānau and loved ones that really release the most feel-good hormones (like oxytocin and dopamine) into our systems. This, in turn, helps to mitigate the effects of the increased stress hormones parents are experiencing.
So, while it may seem insignificant to take a walk to the letterbox or spend some time playing “Daddy Robot” or “Grannies” (we see you Bandit Heeler, raising the bar so inspiringly high), the simple feel-good vibes that we experience as a result of fresh air, fun and whānau connection truly are our most powerful weapon in the quest against stress.
