Tricky transitions: Returning to school after the holidays

Whether it's off to school for the first time or back to school after a long break, transitioning into the school routine feels big. You want your children to take this moment in their stride and meet school confidently and well. But there are a few things parents (and kids!) tend to get anxious about. Will my child make friends? Can they keep up? Will they eat their lunch for morning tea? Who will care if they are sad? How will they remember to put their hat on when I'm not there? How will they even know where their hat is? Or for older kids – Can they get themselves to school on time? Will they struggle with friendships? Will they make good choices?

Here are a few things I recommend parents do to help the whole family meet the new school year with readiness and confidence.

Talking things through with our kids can really help to soothe any nerves. The unknown can be daunting, especially for our younger children. Talk about what is coming up so your kids have an idea of what to expect. Mention their teacher’s name and the names of children who might be in the class too. Talk about the sorts of things that will happen in and outside of their classroom on a typical school day. Talk about what lunchtime might look like and what will happen at the end of the school day. It is also a great idea to remind your child that they can always ask a teacher if there is anything they are not sure of.

Visit your kids' school before the term starts and take a little walking tour around the facilities with them. There is something about being familiar with the environment that reassures a child and sets them up for knowing what is in store.

Younger children or those tending towards anxiety might appreciate having some photos on hand of their school, including pictures of their classroom, the playground, the toilet block, the entrance, the water fountains – just the lay of the land in general. Once kids know what the environment looks like, they can more easily picture themselves there.

The holidays provide a wonderful break from the term-time routines but most families find that they are ready to welcome back the sense of order and certainty that a routine provides. Picking up routines about one week before school starts gives you a good lead-in for reintroducing the rhythms that are going to carry your kids into the new term.

• Set the alarm clock at the time required to get up on a school day and practise getting up at that time – even on those last precious holiday mornings. Some families find that getting up even just 10 minutes earlier can be the difference between a calm morning and a stressful one.

• Pack the school bags the night before. Check that things like swimming togs or sports gear are included, sunscreen, hat, money and books are all lined up.

• Lay out the uniform or school clothes the night before too. The fewer decisions to be made on the morning, the greater chance of keeping the calm in place.

• Set the table with breakfast items the night before – the bowls, the cutlery and the cereal. This simply says, "We're ready for the day".

• Laminate a checklist of what your kids are responsible for doing each morning before school. Beds made, breakfast eaten, plates on the bench/in dishwasher, bags packed, lunch included and always a goodbye kiss. You could use photos to make this even more personal and engaging.

• Always start the day with a warm greeting for your kids – set the atmosphere the way you would like it to go. Charm goes further than growling.

• For those starting school for the very first time, pack morning tea and lunch foods into their lunch box on those final holiday mornings and have fun eating picnic-style before school even starts. There’s so much going on in those first few days of term that this reinforces a pretty key routine and reminds a child what they can eat for morning tea and lunch.

Even the busiest and least organised amongst us can get on board with a few simple routines. Daily rhythms and routines are hugely powerful as they signal to a child that there is a plan in place, offering a comforting sense of order and pattern. This sense of predictability provides confidence to our kids and also establishes a way of doing things that eventually becomes a habit.

The range of extra-curricular activities available to our kids is vast. It will be tempting to grab onto a whole bunch of opportunities, especially with some new-found energy, some pestering from your eager children and perhaps even noticing what other families are signing up for. But hold back on getting too busy, especially in that first term.

After-school activities are awesome, but give yourself space. Not all of the wonderful opportunities need to be harnessed at once. One at a time is just fine and for those starting school for the very first time, that is your plate full already.

Parents – take care of yourself in the midst of all there is to do. If you are doing okay, your kids are likely to do okay as well.